Yeah, that’s right, date a Wookie! They’ll never have to borrow your hoodie because they have their own fur.
Serious Star Wars fans have to figure out how to set themselves apart from the casuals. A few Funko Pop figures on the bookshelf just isn’t going to cut it here. So we’re covering realistic replicas, for on-point cosplay or proud display in your geek den. But first, the Dark Corners YouTube channel did an excellent in-depth essay on Star Wars history, with some of these very products getting manufactured and boxed in one scene, even.
There’s some background, now to get on with the gear!
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Rey Quarterstaff Prop Replica – Free Shipping
We try to stay away from characters whom have divided the fan base in the past, because we’re all inclusive geeks here. But we have to make an exception because quarter staffs are just that awesome. For once, this is a prop which requires no batteries, minimal assembly, and anyone can train with. Quarter staffs have a surprisingly effective history in real-life combat, despite the fact that you’re basically fighting with a big stick.
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Tauntaun Maquette Replica Signature Edition – Free Shipping
Everybody loves tauntauns. They’re like a dragon you can ride. They’re one of the first domesticated beasts of burden presented in the Star Wars canon. They’re handy enough creatures and even make a warm, if fragrant, shelter for overnight protection after a wampa has had its way with you. By the way, did you know that this entire sequence was stuffed into the beginning of Empire to help explain why Mark Hamill looked like he’d stopped a train with his face? The real-life reason was that he was in a traffic accident between movies. This was in the days before airbags, and was no simple fender-bender; he rolled his BMW through the guardrail off a Los Angeles freeway at 60 MPH. To take that and come back to film anyway takes real guts.
The budget item for those of you whose wallet cringes at the other entries. It’s an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer, which is basically a battleship in space. We find the irony of a keychain-sized model of one of the biggest spacecraft in movie history to be tickling. By the way, the surface of these and other models like it are covered in what we call greebles. That Wiki link actually mentions a Star Destroyer. Greebles are lots of little detailed doodads you put on the outside of a model to make it look huge and mechanical. Practical effects does this with “kit bashing” (gluing random bits of models to a surface), while CGI does it much more effectively with computer scripts.
This is almost a stealth Star Wars accessory. It’s a perfectly serviceable cap on its own, not so different from contemporary headgear. It’s just a bit more formal than a baseball cap. Wear it on its own in public, and everybody will think it’s familiar, but can’t quite place it. But your peer Star Wars fans will be able to pass the test, knowing it’s an Imperial officer‘s hat. Which looks quite jaunty for any occasion, even if Darth Vader is force-choking you because you failed him for the last time.
Rubie’s Adult Star Wars Supreme Edition Darth Vader Costume
Well, speak of Darth Vader and look who shows up! This is the officially-licensed real deal, a movie-authentic full costume in all its regal dark Sith glory. Just watch the sizing on this one – we do see reviews mentioning some struggles with the sizing. But for the money, this is an instant cosplay-to-go, and you’d better believe nothing clears a path at a party like Darth Vader strolling through. You can also start with this as a base for customizing. Maybe turn the button panel on the chest into an iPod dock and player. Wouldn’t that be fun?
When it comes to iconic weapons, Han Solo’s blaster is easily one of the most recognizable in all Hollywood. It gets straight to the point: it shoots. No “hokey religion” training required. The detail on this model is incredible, authentically scuffed and used, yet safe to pass security at any fancon. By the way, did you even notice how, despite the huge scope on this thing, Han doesn’t do much precise aiming with it? He’s more of a shoot from the hip / under the table kind of guy. Obligatory forbidden original scene, you did not see this here, fnord!
We will grant, this is NOT a full-size movie-faithful replica. It’s about the right size for a toy. But come on, it’s a remote-control R2-D2 with full movement, even programmable with the app. Who’s going to pass this by? Check out the videos – it does the LED lights and sound effects! Replay your favorite R2-D2 quotes, like “Sqeak bloop deedle squee bing ding boop,” and of course the always sage advice, “dee dee squeap quonk doodle-doo.” Well said, Artoo!
Star Wars Darth Vader’s TIE Fighter Code 3 Replica
And finally we have Darth Vader’s own chariot itself. This is a prop-quality replica of the TIE Advanced x1, detailed to the last greeble (see how we added that word to your vocabulary?). It’s perfectly presentable as a fighter for engaging Rebel forces, or for drifting in space after the Rebel forces blew up your little stress ball.
Which reminds us of a point raised in the Generation-X classic film Clerks:
Yeah yeah, we’ve heard this argument a hundred times. But when you bring Capitalism into it, suddenly you have to think about money to pay all those contractors. We know Emperor Palpatine supposedly financed the dumb thing from cooking the books, but still, at some point, somebody who was around for Death Star 1 must have asked how Death Star 2 would be different.
And wouldn’t you hate to have to answer that question? “This one has a shield!” “But the shield comes from this dippy little planet populated by sentient teddy bears. The rebels blew up the last Death Star, what if they come down to this planet and deactivate – ” “Silence! This one has a SHIELD!”
Thanks for visiting and let us know how it’s working out on that Star Wars dating site.