Oh dear, we already blew out a few horror movie lists for Halloween, and here it comes up on the schedule that we have to post for the day proper itself! By the way, it’s also a Halloween weekend, a full moon, a blue moon at that, you get an extra hour of it at 2AM for DST, and the eve of the US election in an era that sounds like Stephen King wrote it.
If you don’t have plans tonight thanks to the COVID-19 Pandemic From Outer Space, allow me to be your expert shut-in entertainment guide. As promised in the title, I’ll pick some movies from Shudder which I assure you will be worthy of your eyeballs’ viewing, but stick around after that. I have a few more treats in the goodie bag besides.
And by the way, these aren’t just any horror movies that I’ll be picking! These are weird horror movies, so I’m limiting picks to only those honored with at least an exploratory review on 366 Weird Movies.
Shudder is having a free virtual Halloween event
For no cost, no obligation, you can just haul off and enjoy a full day’s streaming fun on Shudder’s dime. They have a whole schedule packed with celebrity hosts. That includes Robert Englund and Tom Savini, plus discussions and interviews, musical guests, and a general variety show.
Shudder is the channel for horror fans. I’ve been disappointed in other streaming channels this Halloween, but Shudder packs the real goods. If, like me, you’re a horror geek year round and not just for Halloween, you’ll probably want to stick around on Shudder as part of your balanced streaming diet. Time’s awastin’, let’s pick some flicks!
Shudder Weird Horror Picks:
Color Out of Space (2019)
Kinda hesitant on this one, since it has Nicholas Cage in it. But the reviews at 366Weird do point out that it’s very, very little Nicholas Cage, like just enough to season it. Outside the Cage, it’s an adaptation of an H.P. Lovecraft story done recently.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)
The one and only cult classic! This brilliantly campy send-up of every summer-camp slasher you’ve ever seen has a surprise that nobody with a heart should spoil for you. If you go watch it and don’t like the surprise, I promise you can come back and punch me in the nose, which I will probably deserve.
Hell Comes To Frogtown (1988)
This is about a town called Frogtown, to which Hell comes. What did you think this was about? This is barely a horror movie, honestly. It is a cheesy fratboy comedy-action-sci-fi thing though. Beer and this movie are friends.
The Baby (1973)
This year’s pick for that beloved reaction of weird movie fans everywhere: “What the HELL did I just watch?” This was a typical mid-70s attempt at a midnight movie / shocker which came out a little too big budget for the grindhouse but too weird for mainstream. It’s a psychological thriller for John Waters fans.
We’re sure you’ve heard of this movie, but seriously, this is the crowning masterpiece of the career of Takashi Miike, one very weird but original talent. Accept no spoilers, because it gets your guard down by starting out almost like a set-up for a romantic comedy and then Jesus Christ movie!
All the Colors of the Dark (1976)
I’ll admit, this movie has its small flaws, but it is a very atmospheric giallo about a woman being drawn into a cult. It shares some DNA with Rosemary’s Baby (it’s Italian, what did you expect?), but manages to have a lot more going on besides.
Tourist Trap (1979)
Another cult classic, which I assure you lives up to its hype! Do not allow anyone to spoil this movie for you. It is the quintessential slasher thriller made in 1979 when slashers were just getting started. Every movie you think this flick is copying actually came out later. Despite the year, this is a 1980s movie all the way, pure popcorn satisfaction!
And now for the bonus round!
So you’re too cheap to shell out for Shudder, eh? Well I’ll have to scare up some cheaper fare for you broke kids. Come with me…
I know, you’ve heard of him before, and his act is getting schticky these days, but you have to admit bad horror movies bring Doug Walker to his screechy best!
If this is your first time discovering Jake the Carpetbagger, you are in for a treat! He travels the width and breadth of the USA investigating small tourist attractions, out-of-the-way museums, oddities, and roadside weirdness. He is a folk culture hero. He currently has no playlist of haunted house visits, but he also screams bloody murder in every dark ride. Maybe he’ll have that playlist next year. In the meanwhilies, this is his catalog of Ripley’s visits across the nation, and all the shrunken heads, Fiji mermaids, and five-legged freaks you can stand to watch.
Don’t get your hopes up too high. These movies suck. It says right on the label “Digital Grindhouse,” being the dumping ground for direct-to-video cheese and aborted low-budget directing careers. But on the plus side, there are 464 horror movies in this playlist! This gives you an amazing variety of different kinds of suck! There are a couple of half-decent B-listers here too, but it’s like panning for turds.
What, you’ve never heard of Mystery Science Theater 3000? I’m kidding of course. Even people who haven’t been born yet have heard of it. This is their official channel and they do post a few gems for YouTube.
Well, we made it through spooky season together, kiddos! As if 2020 needed a Halloween with the way this year’s gone. We can finally return to our regular geeky programming, more or less. Your humble author just felt that horror freaks are underrepresented in geekdom, so we got the spotlight this time!