|Well what to your wandering eyes should appear but the one and only Merc with a Mouth: Deadpool! I’m just thrilled to beans to announce the availability of this needlessly lifelike rendering of my incredibly handsome visage. But wait, there’s MORE! It also talks! It knows over 600 sound effects and witty catchphrases, since I invented all of them! Leave it in the fridge to freak out mom, mount it as a hood ornament, take it with you Christmas caroling – don’t worry, my head has definitely been through worse.
And if you ask “But Deadpool, why would somebody need a model of your disembodied head?” – Buddy, you just haven’t met my fans! Consider yourself lucky that this is the only body part of mine they found the need to retail. But hey, I figure selling my head is a good start – it’s where I keep most of my talent!
Don’t think that just because this is a short merchandise write-up means that I’m done talking! Why, these text boxes can just go on forever. I have to wind this up at some point though, because when bloggers write me they get paid by the hour. You’ll just have to seek out more of my wisdom elsewhere. That’s life when you’re just thinking meat watching images on an electronic screen. That’s also life when I’m a talking head. Funny, I was never a David Byrne fan…